This past weekend, comedian George Carlin (see right), 71, passed away from heart failure. No topic was off-limits for the legendary Carlin, including sports. From soccer to lacrosse to golf to hockey -- you name it, Carlin dissected why pretty much any "sport" was not really a "sport." His take on hockey:
People think hockey is a sport. Hockey is not sport. Hockey is three activities going on at the same time: ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the sh** out of somebody. If these guys were intelligent at all, they would do these things one at a time. First you go ice-skating, then you play with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the sh** out of somebody. The day would last a lot longer, and these guys would have a whole lot more fun.
Tell you another reason hockey is not a sport -- it's not played with a ball. Anything that isn't played with a ball can't be a sport. These are my rules, I make them up. Hockey is played with a puck. What is a puck? I never even heard of a puck outside of hockey. The only other place you'll find a puck is in the urinal to control the smell in the bathroom. And as far as I'm concerned, any game where the main object is something that came out of a urinal is definitely not a sport.
To hear Carlin deliver the above as only Carlin can, check out the below performance from minute 3:00 to 3:50. Advisory: Contains foul language.